How to babyproof:
• Throw away the pennies. Just throw them away.
• What are those things anyway, the ones under the sink? They look dangerous, but you don't even recognize them. Oh! They seem to be "cleaning products"! Get rid of them.
• Use duct tape to attach bubble wrap to bathtub faucet, coffee-table edges, tile floor, and dog's teeth.
• Use duct tape to attach bubble wrap to baby.
1 day ago