2 months ago
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Teagan and Brody Talk
- Brody- "Mommy, can we watch Veggietales and cuddle with each other?"
- Teagan- "My gingerbread man is a bald vampire."
- John- "Do you want American or Provolone cheese?" Brody- "Did he (uncle Brad) get American or Home Alone?"
- John- "Spank Brody! Spank Brody!" Brody- "Staple Daddy! Staple Daddy!"
- Brody- "Silly old me."
- Brody- "I'm hungry stuper duper bad."
- Kamryn- "Look Mom, I'm cute." --flipping her hair-- "See?"
- John took Teagan and Brody to Lagoon, so I asked Kamryn - "What are we gonna do tonight?" Kamryn- "Hang up."
- Mom- "Can you say Aujus?" Brody- "I need to poop."
- @ the Dr's office...Dr. G- "What ear should we look at first?" Kamryn- "Brody's."
- Brody- "I'm gonna be a vam-pirate."
- Brody- "I'm smawrt."
- Kamryn- "I want to color the moon."
- Mom- "What's with all the paper on the kitchen floor?" Brody- "That was me. I was decorating it."
- Brody- "I want a Jesus pinata for my birthday."
- Brody- "A gummie bear fell in the toilet, so I put a lot of toilet paper in there to help it flush down. That was my plan."
- Aunt Kati- "Do you know what recess is, Kamryn?" Kamryn- "Ya, recess is in my tummy."
- Kamryn- "Come here baby." Brody- "I'm not a baby. I'm a teenager without a mom or dad."
- Teagan- "I wish I could be Godzilla."
- Mom- "Okey dokey artichokey." Kamryn- "No, I'm Kamryn!"
- Brody- "Teagan's 7." Teagan- "Ya, I know." Brody- "You don't look like you're 7?" Teagan- "I'm not supposed to be in the shape of a 7."
- Brody- "I just dropped a tear." ...After being able to see the train go by for the 1st time on our walk to preschool.
- Brody- "My bike is being grumpy."
- Mom- "Tonight for Teagan's birthday we get to have cake and ice cream." Brody- "And roast beef?"
- Teagan- Can I open just one present?" Mom- "No, not yet." Teagan- "But, I'm special."
- Teagan- "My gun shoots lava...or fire...or DNA."
- Brody- "Liam is crying because he got burned when we were playing hot potato."
- Kamryn- "I wanna go there." Mom- "To New York City?" Kamryn- "Ya." Mom- "What are you gonna do there?" Kamryn- "Be a princess."
- Brody- "DNA is magic. I learned it from one of my books from the library."
- Teagan- "Somebody has to shave the grass."
- Brody- "I gotta get some DNA!"
- Brody- "I'm going to college. That's why I'm putting stuff in my back pack."
- Teagan- "Hmmmm....McNugget? He must be a guy who helps Ronald McDonald."
- John- "I am going outside to work in the yard." Gma- "Alright! Who wants to go help?" Kamryn- "I'm in!"
- Teagan- "That's the only way my feet get comfortable...I lick them."
- After a piece of food fell out of Brody's mouth, he said- "Aaaa...that jumped right out of there."
- Kamryn to Liam- "No whining!"
- Brody to Kamryn- "You're my best sister...you can sit by me. But, when you're stinky, you gotta move away."
- Mom- "That doesn't look like a safe choice." Brody- "But it's gonna be fun, Mom."
- Obviously bugged by the glare on the TV, Kamryn said- "Turn off the sun, Mom."
- Brody- "I'm Mark, the pirate!"
- Brody- "Mom, Dad has more junk than you."
- Teagan- "I'm singing my 'fruit of the loom' song. I've got lots of them. Did you know that Brody? Say 'no, I didn't know that'." Brody- "No, I didn't know that."
- Mom- "Stop licking the window." Brody- "But I'm cleaning it with my tongue."
- Teagan- "I can't stop thinking about the brownies."
- Brody- "Mom, I put these stickers on the dishwasher so you could put it in a yard sale."
- Brody- "I want to marry my bum." Mom-"Why?" Brody- "Cause it's really funny."
- (over heard) Brody- "I'm not meat!" Teagan- "Yes you are...(smacking his lips)...you're a ham." Brody- "I'm not a ham!!" Teagan- "Yes, you're a mouse ham."
- Brody- "I like ripping stuff."
- Mom- "Who's birthday do we celebrate at Christmas?" Brody- "I know...Bryce's!!!"
- Brody- "I don't want carbs. I just want cheese and butter."
- Brody- "Mom, when is Jesus going to come out of heaven?" Mom- "Nobody knows for sure." Brody- "Only me...cause I have a troodon brain."
- Brody- "I said in a one horse open wedgie!?!?!?"
- John- "What are you throwing at me?" Brody- "Um, my boogers."
- Teagan- "Thanks for the mistake, Mom." .....as he took a bit of his 'steak.'
- Brody- "My belly button is growing bigger. When I'm a grownup, it's gonna be HUGE!"
- Brody- "This goat likes to ice skate."
- Brody- "I was doing my homework last night. Dad said I had to." Mom- "Oh, did you do your letters?" Brody- "No, I was doing my ABC's."
- Teagan- "This was made in China? No Way!"
- Brody- "I never tear stuff apart."
- Brody- "I want some sugar."
- (In a happy cheerful voice) Brody- "Why are you freaking me out, Kamryn?"
- Brody had a green bean sticking out of his mouth and said- "Look at my nasty tooth."
- Brody- "Are you 8?" Mom- "I'm 30." Brody- "Whoa!"
- Teagan- "I'm getting so tall. It's a problem."
- Brody came out of his bedroom with 2 hats on his head and said- "Do you know that I am THE cool dude?"
- Teagan coming out of the bathroom - "Mom, I was thinking of doing a mohawk."
- I made Kamryn some hot cocoa and after she took a drink she said- "It's AWESOME!"
- John- "Hugs and kisses." Brody- "I want hugs and cocoa."
- After Kamryn was dressed for church with her hair done, Teagan said- "She's REALLY pretty. In fact, she's BEAUTIFUL!"
- In reply to a lady on the intercom at the store asking for help and then saying 'thank you' ...Kamryn shouted-"You're Welcome!"
- Brody to Kamryn - "Hold on little lady!"
- Brody took a bite of his lunch and said - "Holy hot!"
- Teagan lost his first tooth and I asked him what he thought the going rate was for a first tooth and he said - "Look online."
- Brody- "I'm a ninja. Teagan taught me."
- As we pulled up to Teagan's school to pick him up, in a very disappointed voice, Brody said - "AWWWHH! I wanted to go to Costco! I wanted some samples."
- Brody- "I wanna be a mommy when I grow up."
- Brody (holding up a half eaten cookie)- "Is this Kamryn's?" Mom- "Ya, it was hers from last night." Brody- "Well, I'm eating it now."
- Teagan- "Can I have a snack?' Mom- "You just had dinner and dessert!?" Teagan- "But that was like 1 minute ago."
- Liam spit up all over my arm and onto my pants and I said- "Liam....gross." To which Brody replied- "He's just a baby."
- Teagan- "Hmmm...dinner smells weird. It smells like a brew."
- Mom- "Why is Kamryn whining?" Brody- "She spilt her marshmallows and I ended up taking them."
- Mom- "Hmmm...what should mommy have for lunch?" Brody- No lunch for you mom." Mom- "Uh. Why can't I have lunch?" Brody- "Because you're a grown up and you can handle it."
- Mom- "Brody, don't touch him." Brody- "I'm just kissing him." Mom- "That's touching him."
- Teagan- "No flies in the house!!!" Brody- "Maybe they just want to have a sleep over."
- Brody- "Kamryn is pretending to be a purple, big sock." Mom- "Sock?" Brody- "Shark." Mom- "Oh."
- Teagan- "We should take Brody to an orphanage or take him up a big tree that he can't get down from and leave him there."
- Teagan- "I look like I'm 21 in my shadow."
- Teagan went into the bathroom and I overheard him talking to Brody through the door. Teagan- "This is where I transform into a Avatar and also where I go to the bathroom."
- Brody- "Mom, can I bite Kamryn's leg?"
- As I was using the bathroom I see little fingers under the door. After a few seconds Brody says- "Do you see my fingers?" Mom- "Yep." Brody- "I'm doing that because I'm being weird."
- Brody- "The bad gremlins don't get stuff from Santa cause they're naughty."
- Teagan drew a picture of a person and I asked who it was. Brody said- "Satan?"
- Brody- "The chair is being mean to me." Mom-"The chair is being mean to you?" Brody- "And the downstairs door."
- Brody- "Can I have some orange juice?...cause it's delicious!"
- Brody- "I didn't know knives can cut!"
- John- "Man, you talk a lot." Teagan- "I know. I just can't help myself."
- Brody- "Good people make good choices and always use nice words." Teagan- "Not always...sometimes good people don't use nice words....like Mom and Dad."
- Teagan- "Mom, sometimes I'm friendly.....sometimes I'm not."
- Brody- "My tummy is telling my legs I'm tired."
- Brody sat next to me and put his arm around my shoulders and said- "Do you know why I'm doing this?.....Because you're cute."
- Brody had the runs and said- "That was amazing poop! And that was awesome when it dripped from my toot!"
- Brody- "Mom! We're one headed! We're not dragons...we're humans."
- I turned off the lights in our basement while Brody and I walked towards the lighted stairs. Brody started whining and said- "I can't see!! I don't have cat eyes!"
- Teagan- "Hey mom!!!! There's a cherry red Ferrari....or maybe it's a Toyota."
- Teagan about Brody- "That's the way he was built. God made him and God made him naughty."
- Brody held up his hand and said- " Do you know what this is for?....Spankins."
- Brody- "My poop is hurting my brain." Mom- "How come?" Brody- "Cause it's bigger and I thought it was a snake."
- Mom- "Brody, how come all the balls are out?" Brody- "Because I threw them at Kamryn."
- Teagan to mom- "Your voice is starting to sound like mine when it's cranky."
- Mom- "Did you just hit your sister?" Brody- "No, I punched her."
- Brody- "I wanted to see what was under my skin, so I pulled my thumb off and it was chicken!!"
- Brody- "Milk cows have 11, 12, 13, 8, 9, 10 legs...where the milk comes out."
- Teagan- "Shake what yo mama gave ya."
- Mom- "Brody, tell your sister you're sorry for hitting her." Brody- "Sorry, goblin."
- Brody- "Mom, can I have a waffle for breakfast? I mean a cookie?" Mom- "I thought you said you wanted a waffle?" Brody- "I changed my mind to a cookie."
- I was browning hamburger when Teagan walked in the kitchen and in a cheery confident voice said, "Smells like corn!"
- Teagan-"What are you doing?" Mom-"Putting on mascara because I don't have as pretty of eyelashes as you." Teagan-"Yeah, you don't. Mine are cool."
- Brody-"Get away!" Mom-"Use your nice words, please." Brody-(with a big smile) "Please mommy, you get away?"
- Brody woke up screaming and yelling for me in the middle of the night. I went to him, tucked his blankets around him, and asked what was wrong. He said, "Teagan took my sandwich." And he fell back to sleep.
- Brody-"You're a crazy mom and a crazy Brody too."
- Brody-"You're a silly mom. You're playing tricks on you."
- Mom-"Hurry Brody. We need to take Teagan to school." Teagan-"Yeah. So I can get learned."
- Brody-"That hair is talking to me." Mom-"What? Oh, it's sticking to you?" Brody-"Yeah."
- Teagan read something off of the TV and I said- "How did you know what that said?" Teagan-"Cause I'm still too smart."
- Mom-"I'm makign Top Ramen for lunch." Teagan-"Brownies?" Mom-"No, Top Ramen."
- Mom-"What do you want to have for dinner tonight?" Brody-"Diarhea." Mom-"What? Gross!"
- Brody-"Goodbye paper toilet."
- Brody-"What in the world!?!"
- Mom-"What do you think about having a new baby brother or sister? Are you excited?" Brody-"Yeah. Is it in your tummy?" Mom-"Yep." Brody-"Awwww...that's so cute!"
- Mom-(from the kitchen)"Brody, Whatcha doing?" Brody-"I'm out in the livingroom pooping."
- Teagan-"Mom, your stuff in the microwave is done." Mom-"Thanks, Teagan." Teagan-"I sure hope you're sharing."
- Teagan-"Avery wasn't at school today because she was getting her utensils out." (tonsels)
- Mom-"Teagan, are you asleep?" Teagan-"No, but all my body parts are."
- Brody was sitting on my lap and pushed on my chest. Brody-"Is this your elbow, mommy?" Mom-"Um, no. This is my elbow (showing him my ACTUAL elbow)."
- Teagan-"I'm plastic a little bit. That's how God made us, with skin that is kinda plastic."
- Mom-"You haven't washed your hands yet? What have you been doing? Playing?" Teagan-"I was doing the Hokie Pokie!"
- Teagan-"Maybe when I go on my mission I can go on a spaceship to the Star Wars places."
- Mom-"Why were you in a time out?" Brody-"Because I eat Teagan." Mom-"You mean, because you bit Teagan?" Brody-"No, uh, ya. Because I bite Teagan."
- While changing Brody's diaper: Brody-"My penis wants you, mom." Mom-"What!?!" Brody-"It wants to pee on you. " *giggle* Mom-"It wants to pee on me? Gross!" Brody-"No, it's not gross, it's just water."
- Mom-"Teagan, will you throw Kamryn's diaper in the garbage?" Teagan- "Is it poopie?" Mom-"No." Teagan-"Well, I'm not going to breathe in."
- Teagan- "Mom, I'm always hungry."
- Brody- "I want to go to the mountain."
- Brody came walking into the kitchen pinching his nipples and in a whiney voice says "I'm hurting myself."
- Brody- "I pooped out my money." Dad- "You pooped out your money?" Brody- "Yip! Out my bum!"
- Brody- *sobbing* "I hurt myself on the sink. I have to go to the hospital."
- Brody- "Tia, Tia...Kamryn wants you!"
- Brody- "Birdie." Teagan- "No, that's a goose." Brody- "No, birdie." Teagan- "Well, some gooses can be birds."
- Teagan- "Can we go to the park?" Mom- "I'm thinking about it." Teagan- "I've been thinking about it too."
- Mom- "Teagan I want you to wear shorts." Teagan- "But mom, my head is telling me to wear jeans. I better listen to my head."
- Brody- "I almost fell in the potty."
- Brody (to Mom)- "Daddy is not listening to you. He's not obeying."
- Mom- "What do you want for lunch?" Teagan- "Peanut butter and popcorn." *laughing*
- Brody- "Mommy! Mommy! Kamryn looks pretty!" Teagan- "Ya, she looks like a butterfly princess."
- Teagan- "I'm back on earth." Mom- "Oh. How was your trip?" Teagan- "Good." Mom- "Did you learn anything?" Teagan- "No, I just walked around and said HI to a girl alien."
- Mom-"We've been invited to the private party at the Boulevard." Teagan- "Private Party?.....Does that mean you don't have to wear clothes?"
- Teagan- "Kids love their toys, but they still love their mommies and dads."
- Teagan- "Today was a heart attack day. Cause the cat heart attacked me."
- John- "Come here Teagan, so I can spank your bum." Brody - (sweetly) "Don't touch Teagan's bum, ok?"
- Teagan to mom- "Is today your birthday?" Mom- "No remember, Sunday is my birthday. I'm going to be old." Teagan- "No you won't. You will still be your own size. Cause I'm still my own size."
- Brody to Teagan- "You are old." Teagan- "*laughing* I'm not old." Brody- (totally serious) "Ya, you are OLD."
- Brody- "I want butter in my mouth."
- Brody- "When I'm 3 I'll turn into Teagan. And Teagan will turn into Brody. *laugh* And Brody can sleep on my bed and I will sleep on Teagan's bed."
- Teagan- "Mom, you have chubby muscles."
- Brody- "I want evil in the morning." ???
- Teagan- "Spongebob is like a beehive squid guy."
- Teagan- "Mom, I'm almost done eating. I'm gonna beat Brody. He's not eating because he's freaked out."
- Teagan- "I listen like a camel."
- Teagan- "You're hurting my wrist on my foot." John- "You mean your ankle?" Me-*laughing*
- Teagan- "We should start giving me breakfast in bed."
- One day we didn't receive any mail. Teagan said- "Maybe because the mailman is home sick, I think."
- Brody was flying a little horse around saying---"Nay Nay to the rescue!"
- Teagan-"Hey Brody...are you a human?" Brody-"NO! I'm a snowflake!"
- Brody singing- "Poopie, poopie on my way." (I was changing his diaper and he was confusing the horsey-horsey song with the potty talk in his head--not intentionally.)
- Teagan- "Does Jesus have germs?"
- As I was washing off our kitchen table, I turned and looked at Brody---licking the table. ??? No, he didn't say anything and neither did I.
- I was filling up bottles of water for our emergency storage and explained what I was doing to Teagan. Then he said, "And if we run out, we call the cops to get some more."
- Teagan- "Yes sir....I mean...yes Ma'am....I mean, Merry Christmas!"
- Brody- (during a diaper change) "Mama, when you're done with my bum, I want a treat."
- Teagan- "I got it Kamryn! I got it! ...I got Kamryn's booger!"
- Teagan- "Bums are SQUISHY!!!"
- Teagan- "Mom, is crap-face a bad word?" Ugh-compliments of The Sand Lot.
- Brody was playing with a phone and I asked- "Who are you calling, Brody?" With a huge grin on his face, he said- "Ghostbusters."
- Teagan- "Hey mom. Look at me. " (showing his fully dressed self) "I'm a cool looking dude."
- I asked Brody and Teagan to bring me Kamryn's bouncy seat. As they took turns carrying it to me, I told them how very strong they were. Teagan said- "I'm super strong like Brody and Daddy." And I said- "Like Mommy too." Teagan said- "No, girls aren't strong." I said- "What? Of course we are. Girls can be very strong!" Teagan- "Not Kamryn...she's not even toilet trained yet!"
- Teagan- "Becker Simba....that means I don't know."
- At dinner John and I were talking and Brody kept trying to interupt. Finally I said, "Yes Brody." He said, "Mom, guess what?" I said, "What?" There was a long pause then Brody said, "Peanut!!!" LOL We laughed so hard! Brody's first joke.
- Teagan singing- "...the kid is not my son...." Name that tune!
- Teagan (playing with his dinosaurs)- "Peeeewww!...What is that smell?.....Oh, it's hot lava dinosaur poop."
- Teagan singing- "Sell the kids for food...." Name that tune!
- Brody to Kamryn (she was crying in the car)- "What's the matter baby girl." --in his sweetest voice.
- Brody- "OWWWW!" from the back seat of the car. Mom (responding to the screaming of bloody murder)- "What's wrong?" Brody- "Spiderman hurt my bum!"
- John made a couple pies and we were trying to decide who to give one of them to. I said-"Who is someone special....?" And before I could finish my sentence, Brody said;"ME!"
- Brody- "Cheek...that one." -pointing to my cheek...so I lean down and he gives me a big kiss.
- Teagan- "We came. We saw. We kicked it's &%@!" Courtesy of Ghost Busters. Thank you Bill Murray.
- Teagan- "Mmmm, what smells?" Mom- "Dinner, doesn't it smell good." Teagan- "Ahhh, poison!" --as he falls to the floor.
- Teagan spelled out the letters on the outside of the building where John works...and asks what it spells. I said, "Thomas Arts....that's where daddy works." Teagan said, "No, Dad works at Geico."
- Brody- "Wake down, TT!" ...Which translates into 'wake up teagan.'
- Teagan- "Mom, when Santa comes...if he gets tired, he can rest at our house. He can sleep on our couch....but I will tell him that he can't have his boots on the couch!"
- Teagan- "Mom, when I'm 16 I want to buy a van like Grandma's." (minivan)
- Teagan- "Can I drive?"
- While babysitting a friend's little girl...I overheard Teagan ask her if she wanted to go out to dinner. She said yes and they made their way to the kitchen, had what must have been a wonderful meal, then they headed back to the toys to play. As Teagan walked by me, he said, "Mom, we went out to dinner." I said, "Oh, that's nice...where did you go?" Teagan said, "Paris."
- Mom- "Teagan, what do you want to get Daddy for Christmas?" Teagan (in a super excited voice) "A holiday....... delicious....... cheeseburger....... a frozen one........ in a little fridge!!!!"
- Teagan- "Mom, are The Wiggles human?"
- Teagan- "It smells like snow!"
- Mom- "Brody, come on...go this way." Brody- looking very mischevious...but in charge-"No mom, go this way." I ended up chasing him around the car.
- Mom- "Teagan get out of the mud." Teagan- "But mom, I'm planting a seed to grow delicious corn."
- Teagan- After a lecture on hitting, he was poking his finger around his eye and said, "Did I get all the guilt out of my eyes, mom?"
Things I Never Thought I'd Say--But Have.
- "I do not want your scab!"
- "Stop biting your toe nails."
- "Kamryn, maybe running in high heels isn't a very good idea."
- "Liam, your bottle doesn't belong up your nose."
- John- "Get both of your fingers out of your nose."
- "Stop eating your boogers and come eat your eggs!"
- "Please don't clean the toilet."
- "Give me back the poopie diaper."
- "Please stop eating your shirt. If you're hungry, let me get you some food."
- John- "Brody, stop eating your knee."
- John- "We don't have to pay for sunshine."
- "Are you kissing your brownie?"
- "Please don't lick me."
- "I'm going to throw my belly button at you!"
- "Give him back his belly button."
- "Please don't bite the TV stand."
- "No touching other people's bums."
- "Go to your room and find a happy Brody."
- "Please don't roll over his head."
- "Just wipe it on your shirt."
- "Are you making good choices?"
- "Use your nice words."
- "Finish your ice cream."
- "Well stop kung fuing and pick up your blocks.
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4 comments:
Is it sad that I ALREADY do this?!
So true! I wish that one worked with my little one...but sadly it doesn't.
That is so funny! I bet Cam thinks that!!! HAHAHAH! LOVE IT!
This is why I think something's wrong with my daughter - she won't sit and watch anything for more than a couple minutes, unless I'm WITH her and interacting with whatever we're watching.
ps - i LOVE the song that comes up on your player.
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